10 Ways to Show Love to Someone With Depression

Do You Love Someone With Depression?

If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.

Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.

1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment.

2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing her to go deeper into her depression. Help your loved one keep her body healthy, and her mind will follow. Our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression thus“Brain Diet” can help the symptoms of depression.Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.

Mood Boosting Trail Mix Recipe

Ingredients

1. 2 tablespoons banana chips
2. ¼ cup Brazil nuts
3. ¼ cup walnuts
4. 2 tablespoons dark chocolate chips
5. ¼ cup sunflower seeds
6. ¼ cup dried blueberries or strawberries

Instructions

1. Mix all of your fruits and nuts and eat as is. Or serve on top of yogurt with a bit of honey or molasses drizzled over the top before chowing down.

Why Does This Mix Boost Your Mood?

Mood boosting minerals and vitamins:

• B12 and folic acid may prevent disorders of the central nervous system, mood disorders and dementia. Folic acid is usually found in beans and greens, while B12 is found in meats, fish, poultry and dairy.
• Selenium is a trace mineral that acts as an antioxidant in the body. Antioxidants help clear the body of free radicals that may be associated with oxidative stress on the brain, leading to mild and moderate depression. Additionally, selenium reduces risk of some cancers and inflammatory conditions.
• Omega-3 fatty acids can lower your risk of depression. Omega-3s are a good fat needed for normal brain function. But, your body can’t make omega-3s on its own, so you need healthy food sources of the fats, such as freshwater fish. Vegetarian or vegan? No worries; try these vegan sources of omega-3s.
• Vitamin D deficiency is associated with mood disorders including PMS, SAD and depression. Eat foods rich in vitamin D and, when possible, top it off with sunlight, which helps the body absorb vitamin D.

So let’s break it down by ingredient to show how each contributes to improving your mood.

1. Bananas: Bananas are full of magnesium, which reduces anxiety and improves sleep. And they also contain potassium, which improves circulation delivering more oxygen to your brain. Additionally, the natural sugars provide a quick energy boost, while a banana’s fiber content makes the boost last longer than energy from simple carbohydrates. Bananas were previously thought to also boost brain serotonin because of the serotonin and tryptryptophan amino acid content. But recent National Institutes of Health studies found consuming serotonin and tryptophan from foods doesn’t correlate to mood enhancement like consuming a purified tryptophan supplement does.
2. Brazil Nuts: Eating just three Brazil nuts per day can provide your recommended daily dose of selenium.
3. Walnuts: The protein, omega-3s and vitamin E in walnuts all keep your body energetic. Walnuts are also high in magnesium and are a great on-the-go snack for regulating blood sugar and preventing mood swings.
4. Dark Chocolate: Cocoa is a great source of phenylethylamine, which stimulates serotonin production in the brain. Serotonin is a natural antidepressant. Don’t overdo the chocolate bars though, as caffeine and sugar can be depressants. And stick with chocolates with at least 70 percent cocoa. Dark chocolate also contains potent antioxidants.
5. Sunflower Seeds: Also full of phenylethylamine, sunflower seeds make a great snack on their own, or in combination with mixed nuts.
6. Berries: Berries, particularly blueberries and strawberries, reduce inflammation (which can keep your brain functioning properly) and are high in antioxidants.
7. Molasses: Blackstrap molasses contains vitamin B6, selenium, magnesium, manganese, calcium, copper, and high amounts of iron.
8. Honey: Natural honey is a true super sweetener; it’s filled with B vitamins, folic acid, iron, and manganese, and compounds like quercetin and caffeic acid, which fight fatigue, depression and anxiety.

Most importantly, eat foods you love when boosting your mood. Pick and choose among the mood boosters to create your perfect trail mix to brighten up your day.

3.Get them outside.
The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike (exercise is an effective mood booster!) or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression.

4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.

5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.

6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.

7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of herself. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.

8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.

9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”

10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.

This list is in no way exhaustive. I’d love for this to start a conversation, please leave the ways you have found to love someone with depression in the comments.